Freedom Lifestyle – Why I see it in my future?

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My Teen will be choosing Tertiary courses by this time next year!

Or she will be jetting off to LA to conquer the Professional Dancing world…

Or something else entirely that makes her happy and that she is passionate about, making her own way in the world, whatever that looks like or wherever in the world that may be.

We have lived in Wellington a long time, we have loved it here and still do, but unfortunately over the ocean from my South Island family and close friends.  We miss them so much and our visits are never long enough.

Freedom Lifestyle

Restrictions like, work commitments, School commitments and choosing to stay in the same city as her Dad while she had her formulative years has kept us here all this time.  It was the right thing to do.

In my future it is very important for me to have ‘the freedom to be based wherever I want to be – for as long as I want to go’.

Why… because I see a freedom lifestyle as:

 

• Being able to say goodbye to 50-60 hour weeks working for someone else.

• Building a business that works for me from my Laptop, that I can take a manage where ever I go, that continues to work while I sleep & works for my lifestyle.

• Travelling and exploring the world slowly at my own pace with just a small backpack.

• Being able to decide this morning that I can fly out tonight and  be visiting my Daughter in her Uni town or in LA for 1 night or for 30 nights.

• Then being able to fly out a few months latter and be spending time in the South Island based out of a cabin in the snow, or a Boat house by the Lake while spending some deep quality time with my various family members and close friends.

• That choosing to have a white Christmas with my US family is just as easy as my lifestyle business still continues wherever I go all year round.

• That I can go tommorow, I can go tonight, I can stay for as long as I want.

I like that I will be making a positive impact on the world, but only leaving the smallest imprint of my footsteps in the world, but the world will be making a largest imprint on me heart and mind as I go.

freedom plan

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Freedom Plan – 3 Challenges that are personally holding me back

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Are you taking part in Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge?

I don’t have time to take part…

I have a large load of To Do list items that have major precedence…

But dammit, I’m not letting any excuse get in the way, I’m taking part… :-)

freedom plan
I felt called to it, to challenge me, so dammit I am!

Natalie has first asked us to think about our biggest challenges, list them down and write about why you think they are holding you back.

Challenges for me have changed this year, if you would have asked me 6 months ago it would have been quite a different list as I worked on establishing alot of achievable goals earlier this year to help me with my version of a Freedom Plan.

My life, had different idea’s… it wanted to challenge me instead.

3 Challenges that are personally holding me back:

 

• Guilt

I neeeed to write…

…gosh I neeeed to write.

…I need it deep in my heart and to give my head a break from the tornado of ‘things’ in there as it helps so much to get it down on paper…

But I feel like I am letting so many other people down at the moment “if I take the time out to write”.

There are so many needs very present in our life right at the moment.

I have so many people I need to reply to in my inbox (work & home).

I have so many people I haven’t yet had a chance to call back (work & home).

I multi task til the cow’s come home, talking on my bluetooth in the car, replying to email’s in supermarket queue’s, only watching 1 of my daughters sports game on the sideline instead of two, but it’s not enough, it’s 1 step forward, 3 steps back.

The many medical and supportive needs of some people in our lives take precedence and I can only stretch so far.

I’m stretch beyond what I’m capable of.

People tell me not to stretch so far.

But then don’t stretch to enough themselves to make up the shortfall or not at all… what can you do?

It means I need to stretch again to more than what I am capable of, as I just could not-not help when there are such needs.

I feel guilt that my writing, my website Wellington Chic and developing myself will be seen as an indulgence in this time.

That with all the medical issue’s going on at the moment, the needs, the things I have stacked up against me, that I shouldn’t be ‘allowed’ to write.

Almost like an invisible voice saying, you should only do that when you have ‘free’ time, when you have completed all your other tasks.

I feel like if I hit publish on something, people may say:

“what you had time to write this, but you didn’t reply to our request to provide baking for the blue rinse brigade’s social bowling team”.

“you had time to write this, but you left the Hospital at 6.30pm tonight instead of 8pm.”

“you had time to write this, but you still haven’t dropped off the box of things that aren’t very important, but you said you would one day”.

“you had time to write this, but you haven’t participated in our Facebook community for 5 months”.

“you have time to write this, but you haven’t finished a complimentary review of an event from back in April”.

I know it’s my own invisible voice…

It’s my own self getting in the way…

It’s real…

But, as it’s my own invisible voice, It’s also me that can do something about it…

My Challenge will be, telling that invisible voice of mine to “F$%$k Off”.

(Yes I did just edit that, I need to say F$%$ Off in less cryptic terms, but I don’t know if I’m quite ready to have that in my sphere on the internet yet)

 

• Need to find a new Job / Career (as mine is about to disappear)

The company I’ve worked for, for more than 12 years, has made the sad decision to close down.

It’s a big deal…

It’s very complex…

There is a lot of technicalities that have gone into this decision…

It’s the right decisions for all parties involved and I support them in this…

I’ve not just worked for this company, but have been embedded within its fibre’s, it has developed me, it has challenged me, it has seen me rise to things I didn’t know I had in me, it has mentally supported me, it has comforted me, it has even helped raise my daughter, I have given so much to it, it has drained me flat many-many times but as much as I have put in, I have received back out of it and the people I work for 10 fold.

It’s time…

But it don’t make it easy…

I have truly loved working for this company and normally I don’t mind change, I quite like moving with the times… but saying goodbye here is going to be hard…

But within saying that, there is this small sliver of relief in there too…

Relief that all that has consumed me for 12 years I will be moving on from…

That new things are on the horizon…

I don’t know what they look like yet…

This itself is a little scary…

Oh, yeah and I have to find a fab new job/career than hits as many points as this one does for me and more.

I have some time up my sleeve (although that’s closing in day-by-day) as I am helping them to close down their business responsibly… but…

My challenge will be needing to get out of my head and onto the pavement (the job pounding pavement)…

 

• Writing Freely & Deeply & down in the dirt Real!

I write freely and deeply in my head…

I write freely and deeply in my Car in my head while driving… (alot)

I write freely and deeply on the Toilet…

I write freely and deeply in the wee small hours of the night while avoiding sleep…

I write freely and deeply in my Draft’s folder…

But I am yet to write freely and deeply and lay it out as it is, down in the dirt Real and push Publish…

My Challenge will be, edit out my waffle while still maintaining enough of the down and dirty gritty dirt!

 

This blog post is in response to Natalie’s 10 Day Freedom Plan Blog Challenge Day 1

#10DBC #freedomplan

 

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I don’t have the answer… Do you?

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You know 2 months ago I was totally ROCKING this year – 2016!

Wanaka Clouds

I had an A-Mazing long Summer break with my Teen and family…

Made some pretty big – audacious – kick ass plans and goals for my year ahead…

Was rocking through killing-it at home, my daughter and I were in a great routine, managing to work through Teenage-dom semi-successfully most of the time, advancing through my biggest tasks at work, loving my writing, pushing further into my faith, putting myself out there and pushing in my work, my Blog life and my personal life, going great guns working behind the scenes in future Business plans I have, and ensuring I was making good time for my friends and family…

Like, seriously Rocking it.

I was focused, determined, tracking along great…

I had a made a conscious decision on the Summer Break that:

2016 was to be MY year!

It was my year to MAKE STUFF happen…

My year to sometimes put myself first to work on my hopes and dreams…

My year to set those goals and work damn-damn hard to achieve them…

My year to work through what the future means, what new dimensions my life will take on when my Teenager goes to Uni…

My year to really start stepping forward into my future…

My year to ROCK IT…

Yeah…

Well…

Until…

A bazillion curve balls hit pretty much all at the same time…

Tipping life completely on it’s head…

Stopping it in it’s tracks…

Starting with an unexpected devastating diagnosis of someone I am close with.

The role I play in their lives meant 95% of my focus had to be on them and their family, as they had no one else to care for them.

5% was the drip I had left for my daughter with no time at all for family and friends.

50% went on dealing with crisis after crisis and just putting out fires in my daytime work.

Yeah, I know that add’s up to more than 100%, well that’s what it felt like…

Running, literally running every waking hour at 150% for the last 2 months.

Grinding to a halt everything in my personal life and in my work life that wasn’t an absolute urgent essential, must happen now or it will catch on fire type urgent.

My Teenager honestly even had to virtually fend for herself with not much input into her life bare the essentials of checking she had money to feed and transport herself, that she was doing ok even though I could only be around pretty much to sleep and making sure she was home (but she coped).

As guess what, when there is a problem, a crisis, a disaster ???

I react like a man…

My first reaction is to solve the problem…

Jump straight into “OK, lets look at the big picture and work out how to help”…

Start setting plans in place…

Start gathering helpers…

Start gathering information…

Quizzing the people that know stuff to be able to help more, be informed etc…

Take a bunch a notes, share the info, keep everyone informed…

Go into Over-Drive to physically HELP!

I go into over-drive and work myself over the top ridiculously hard as it is one way I ‘can help’ when you feel so helpless in a situation.

Usually I can just slim-ly avoid hitting the wall and eventually the crisis’ pass and eventually you catch up on life again.

But in the last two months, there was just NO let up (and there won’t be for a long time yet).

More and more and more things become top-level urgency.

Round every corner, there were more curveballs.

This time I was running so fast I was teetering over the edge of hitting the wall everyday…

Then…

I starting to get Sick with a reoccurring illness that I get…

Ironically, the illness I get isn’t at all related, it’s not because I’m burning the candle at both ends and then sides of it and it’s not at all related to stress… you would think surely it had to be, but nope, not related.

Two days later we were dealing with major flooding here in Wellington and spent the day fighting against rising flood waters and Sand bagging our little hearts out…

Soaked all the way through to my underwear and swimming in my gumboots in the torrential rain…

The next day… I hit actually did hit the wall and my illness took over…

Sleeping 31 hours…

I was down and out, hit the deck, it wipes me for 2 weeks for the worst of it where I am a complete an utter mess physically…

I sleep night and day only waking for a bit of food in the evening then straight back to sleep…

The medication they have to put me on, as otherwise the illness would probably end me up in hospital without it, is a win/loose situation.

Yes… it eventually stops my illness…

But my body always has adverse reactions to the medication, causing me horrendous side effects.

Yup… a mess for at least 2 weeks…

Then it takes me another 1-2 weeks to slowly claw my way back up.

Suddenly I was thrust into the fact I physically CAN’T help anyone…

As I am then absolutely useless to anyone…

Jellyfish

It’s a huge reality check helping people in their crisis’ and makes you think you have put things in perspective.

But the crazy thing is then… being helpless and physically made to stop yourself and do absolutely nothing puts another huge spin on reality and shows an even bigger different perspective.

What does this all mean…

I HAVE NO IDEA!

NO IDEA!

I don’t know how to help people in such need without doing everything you possibly can…

It will be months and months and months of help yet to come and months and months yet of desperately trying to claw back to baseline at work to catch-up, let alone do anything preemptive and going forward.

How do I not live so close to teetering on the edge of hitting the wall when crisis comes…

When there is so much riding on everything for the people you care about…

When you can’t just leave it at the door and go home as peoples livelihoods depend on it…

When you can’t just walk away leaving someone completely alone without essential support as there is no one else…

I know everyone always says, you have to look after yourself first…

Blah… blah… blah…

That’s what I would tell people on the other side too…

Blah… blah… blah you will be no good to anyone if you fall over too… etc…

I would tell them…

Take just one step at time, then the next thing, that’s all you can do…

Well…

What happens when those steps need to be running…

What happens when your running and playing a virtual game of fruit ninja as you go…

What happens when actually the crisis’ really are much-much-much more important and affect too many other people not to put them and those things first… ?

Do I care too much?…

It feels RIGHT to care!…

It feels wrong-really wrong to ‘not’ help…

It feels wrong-really wrong to no do what it takes…

I don’t have the answer…

I have no way to finish this post off…

No profound words…

No great insight…

I don’t have the answer…

Do you?

How do you guys cope with prolonged crisis and putting out only fire after fire?


Happy Mum Happy Child


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Hope Faith & the Human Body

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Over the last 10 days its been a sobering and intense education at just how vulnerable our human bodies are to microscopic things we can’t even see…can’t prevent…can’t preempt & on occasions it’s feels we are helpless to do anything about it…

image

But on the flip side, we are seeing also how amazing the human body is with what it ‘can’ handle, the way it does fight from within it’s tiny little cells, the way it reacts when it tries to protect itself & the amazing abilities it has to heal certain parts of it.

It’s been a really tough time watching people you care about greatly suffer when it is only the very start of their unexpected journey…but I have so much hope for their lives…hope in the prayers to our Lord & Saviour…hope in what’s to come…

#‎hope‬ ‪#‎faith‬ ‪#‎humanbody‬

Hope Faith & the Human Body

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Homegrown Mom Review – This Mom’s off to give an honest review of Under 18’s

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homegrown mom reviewHomegrown Mom Review

This Mom’s off to Jim Beam Homegrown to give an honest review of what it’s like for our Teenagers in the Under 18’s crowd (15-18 years)!

48 Bands & Artists, 6 stages, spread across 1.2 kms of Wellington’s Waterfront this Saturday.  New Zealand’s hottest, and best kept secrets of the NZ homegrown music industry.

I’m going to be rocking it with 17,000 people…1700 Under 18’s and my 15-year-old will be for the first time somewhere amongst it all.

The Jim Beam Homegrown event has been circled wildly on my Teens Calendar forever and she tells me “it will be the absolute highlight of her year”. She has a list as long as her arm of artists that she is “so excited about that she can hardly breathe” (her words).

Are you going?
Do you have young Teens going to Homegrown?

From everything I had read on the Homegrown website, the team has built over the years a truly epic Music Festival unlike any other. The lineup of artists they host is mammoth, the way they reportedly run the event seems well-respected, and the buzz they create is tangibly in the air in the lead up.

My 15-year-old teen was eagerly ‘hoping’ to watch as many of the artists in your line up as possible this year, as she is finally old enough to attend as an ‘under 18’.

BUT…

homegrown mom review

As a Mom, before I can say yes (or no) to an event or something of this mammoth dimension I need to really understand it myself and thoroughly do my research. I try really hard to keep an open mind and a balanced view, but do a tonne of research, ask other parents, check out the credentials, look at last year’s photos and reviews of the events etc… to try and make a fair decision of if I think it’s suitable for her to go (or not).

But as a parent, what I really-really want and am looking for is to hear another Mom’s opinion of ‘what the event is really like’ from their own experience and how their teen really found it, to read a Homegrown Mom Review. On talking with other parents they are also all looking for that real validation of “yeah the organisers say all the right things, but what’s it really like in the mosh-pit, and do they really truly follow through on their drugs and alcohol policies?’’.

The only way I felt comfortable this year with Miss15 attending, is if I attended Homegrown at the same time this year to really check it out myself and be able to visually and verbally check in with her frequently throughout the event. Yeah, I know, I’m ‘that’ Mom.

So this year, I have partnered with Jim Beam Homegrown 2016 to be their Mom Blogger and provide a “Mom’s review of what Homegrown is really like for your under-age teen”.

Are you a Mom or Dad going along too?
Are you taking younger kids or Teens with you?

My review will be more of the angle of ‘What Homegrown was really like from a Mom’s perspective for your under-age teen’ (& hopefully just how fun it was!). Also getting Miss15’s perspective after the event as to how she found it, safety, tone, appropriateness, tips she would give for other under 18’s etc…or honest information to give their parents.

I’m not there to embarrass my Teen, I hope she has the most amazing long anticipated time and Dances and Sings her little heart out.  She will need to check in and respond whenever I call or ask her to meet.  But other than that I plan to keep a pretty low profile, thoroughly enjoy my day, check out as many bands as possible and Dance and Sing my own little heart out while scoping out what it’s really like from a “Mom” view.

My reviews are always completely honest, un-biased and as I see it and experience it. But I’m leading with high-hopes that Homegrown is a really well run, well-rehearsed event, whom have covered many eventualities and follow through and do what they have said they will :-) … but we will see.

Homegrown have done a great job so far in provided lots of starter info on their Homegrown Under 18’s info page on their website.

…”All people under 18 who buy a ticket to Homegrown will need to pre-register on a special ‘Under 18 database’. If you don’t register and we don’t have your details you won’t be allowed into the festival. Read more here about Homegrown for Under 18’s here.”…

As it’s an event that serves alcohol, everyone who enters the gates will be checked for ID and given a wrist band of Over 18 or Under 18.  As above all Under 18’s are also entered on a Database.

I’m hopeful everything goes well, but I am also realistic as to what lengths Teens will go to gain Alcohol, Pre-Load beforehand, get access to Drugs and Stimulants.  There is the own choices your Teen makes, as well as those friends around them and the ones of those they ‘run into’ or didn’t plan to meet.  I remember my own Teen years well!

So yeah, um…it you are going to Homegrown…let me know you are coming or that you are there.  Connect with me via Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.

#HomegrownMomReview #hg16

I also think I’m going play around a bit and have my first foray into the world of !!! Snapchat !!!

…I don’t know what I’m doing…but we will see if I can make it go.

Who should I follow?

What shouldn’t I post?  I’ll avoid snapping my #MomShoes to help my feet last the day.

There is loads of great info by the minute info on their Homegrown Official Facebook page also that you can keep up to date with there.

Tickets are $119 (+$5.99 booking fee) through here at Homegrown Dash Tickets or through the link on their website Homegrown Tickets.

Here’s the lineup:

Who do you want to see?

DUB & ROOTS STAGE
* Shapeshifter  * Kora  * David Dallas  * The Black Seeds  * Katchafire  * Sons of Zion  * AHoriBuzz  * Sunshine Soundsystem  * DJ Sir-Vere

ROCK STAGE
* Devilskin  * Blacklistt  * I Am Giant  * Villainy  * The Feelers  * The Datsuns
* Beastwars  * City of Souls

URBAN STAGE
* Stan Walker  * Savage  * Avalanche City  * Ladi6  * Homebrew
* P Money  * Jamie McDell  * Maala  * Emergency DJ Clint  * Marek

THE LAB STAGE
* Jason Kerrison  * Anika Moa ft. Tiki  * Sola Rosa Sound System  * Beau Monga  * Team Dynamite  * Donell Lewis ft. Wrd Up  * Average Rap Band

ELECTRONIC STAGE
* State of Mind  * Trei ft. Tali, Tiki & Thomas Oliver  * The Peacekeepers vs K+Lab  * The Beat Mafia  * Dick Johnson  * Dan Aux  * Cymbol 303 & This Pale Fire

LOCALLY SOURCED STAGE
* BT & The Vibes  * Troy Kingi  * Lord Echo  * The Toblerone Sessions  * Dug Trio  * Tyson Smith  * Lady Fruit

 

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