I don’t have the answer… Do you?

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You know 2 months ago I was totally ROCKING this year – 2016!

Wanaka Clouds

I had an A-Mazing long Summer break with my Teen and family…

Made some pretty big – audacious – kick ass plans and goals for my year ahead…

Was rocking through killing-it at home, my daughter and I were in a great routine, managing to work through Teenage-dom semi-successfully most of the time, advancing through my biggest tasks at work, loving my writing, pushing further into my faith, putting myself out there and pushing in my work, my Blog life and my personal life, going great guns working behind the scenes in future Business plans I have, and ensuring I was making good time for my friends and family…

Like, seriously Rocking it.

I was focused, determined, tracking along great…

I had a made a conscious decision on the Summer Break that:

2016 was to be MY year!

It was my year to MAKE STUFF happen…

My year to sometimes put myself first to work on my hopes and dreams…

My year to set those goals and work damn-damn hard to achieve them…

My year to work through what the future means, what new dimensions my life will take on when my Teenager goes to Uni…

My year to really start stepping forward into my future…

My year to ROCK IT…

Yeah…

Well…

Until…

A bazillion curve balls hit pretty much all at the same time…

Tipping life completely on it’s head…

Stopping it in it’s tracks…

Starting with an unexpected devastating diagnosis of someone I am close with.

The role I play in their lives meant 95% of my focus had to be on them and their family, as they had no one else to care for them.

5% was the drip I had left for my daughter with no time at all for family and friends.

50% went on dealing with crisis after crisis and just putting out fires in my daytime work.

Yeah, I know that add’s up to more than 100%, well that’s what it felt like…

Running, literally running every waking hour at 150% for the last 2 months.

Grinding to a halt everything in my personal life and in my work life that wasn’t an absolute urgent essential, must happen now or it will catch on fire type urgent.

My Teenager honestly even had to virtually fend for herself with not much input into her life bare the essentials of checking she had money to feed and transport herself, that she was doing ok even though I could only be around pretty much to sleep and making sure she was home (but she coped).

As guess what, when there is a problem, a crisis, a disaster ???

I react like a man…

My first reaction is to solve the problem…

Jump straight into “OK, lets look at the big picture and work out how to help”…

Start setting plans in place…

Start gathering helpers…

Start gathering information…

Quizzing the people that know stuff to be able to help more, be informed etc…

Take a bunch a notes, share the info, keep everyone informed…

Go into Over-Drive to physically HELP!

I go into over-drive and work myself over the top ridiculously hard as it is one way I ‘can help’ when you feel so helpless in a situation.

Usually I can just slim-ly avoid hitting the wall and eventually the crisis’ pass and eventually you catch up on life again.

But in the last two months, there was just NO let up (and there won’t be for a long time yet).

More and more and more things become top-level urgency.

Round every corner, there were more curveballs.

This time I was running so fast I was teetering over the edge of hitting the wall everyday…

Then…

I starting to get Sick with a reoccurring illness that I get…

Ironically, the illness I get isn’t at all related, it’s not because I’m burning the candle at both ends and then sides of it and it’s not at all related to stress… you would think surely it had to be, but nope, not related.

Two days later we were dealing with major flooding here in Wellington and spent the day fighting against rising flood waters and Sand bagging our little hearts out…

Soaked all the way through to my underwear and swimming in my gumboots in the torrential rain…

The next day… I hit actually did hit the wall and my illness took over…

Sleeping 31 hours…

I was down and out, hit the deck, it wipes me for 2 weeks for the worst of it where I am a complete an utter mess physically…

I sleep night and day only waking for a bit of food in the evening then straight back to sleep…

The medication they have to put me on, as otherwise the illness would probably end me up in hospital without it, is a win/loose situation.

Yes… it eventually stops my illness…

But my body always has adverse reactions to the medication, causing me horrendous side effects.

Yup… a mess for at least 2 weeks…

Then it takes me another 1-2 weeks to slowly claw my way back up.

Suddenly I was thrust into the fact I physically CAN’T help anyone…

As I am then absolutely useless to anyone…

Jellyfish

It’s a huge reality check helping people in their crisis’ and makes you think you have put things in perspective.

But the crazy thing is then… being helpless and physically made to stop yourself and do absolutely nothing puts another huge spin on reality and shows an even bigger different perspective.

What does this all mean…

I HAVE NO IDEA!

NO IDEA!

I don’t know how to help people in such need without doing everything you possibly can…

It will be months and months and months of help yet to come and months and months yet of desperately trying to claw back to baseline at work to catch-up, let alone do anything preemptive and going forward.

How do I not live so close to teetering on the edge of hitting the wall when crisis comes…

When there is so much riding on everything for the people you care about…

When you can’t just leave it at the door and go home as peoples livelihoods depend on it…

When you can’t just walk away leaving someone completely alone without essential support as there is no one else…

I know everyone always says, you have to look after yourself first…

Blah… blah… blah…

That’s what I would tell people on the other side too…

Blah… blah… blah you will be no good to anyone if you fall over too… etc…

I would tell them…

Take just one step at time, then the next thing, that’s all you can do…

Well…

What happens when those steps need to be running…

What happens when your running and playing a virtual game of fruit ninja as you go…

What happens when actually the crisis’ really are much-much-much more important and affect too many other people not to put them and those things first… ?

Do I care too much?…

It feels RIGHT to care!…

It feels wrong-really wrong to ‘not’ help…

It feels wrong-really wrong to no do what it takes…

I don’t have the answer…

I have no way to finish this post off…

No profound words…

No great insight…

I don’t have the answer…

Do you?

How do you guys cope with prolonged crisis and putting out only fire after fire?


Happy Mum Happy Child


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Hope Faith & the Human Body

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Over the last 10 days its been a sobering and intense education at just how vulnerable our human bodies are to microscopic things we can’t even see…can’t prevent…can’t preempt & on occasions it’s feels we are helpless to do anything about it…

image

But on the flip side, we are seeing also how amazing the human body is with what it ‘can’ handle, the way it does fight from within it’s tiny little cells, the way it reacts when it tries to protect itself & the amazing abilities it has to heal certain parts of it.

It’s been a really tough time watching people you care about greatly suffer when it is only the very start of their unexpected journey…but I have so much hope for their lives…hope in the prayers to our Lord & Saviour…hope in what’s to come…

#‎hope‬ ‪#‎faith‬ ‪#‎humanbody‬

Hope Faith & the Human Body

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Homegrown Mom Review – This Mom’s off to give an honest review of Under 18’s

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homegrown mom reviewHomegrown Mom Review

This Mom’s off to Jim Beam Homegrown to give an honest review of what it’s like for our Teenagers in the Under 18’s crowd (15-18 years)!

48 Bands & Artists, 6 stages, spread across 1.2 kms of Wellington’s Waterfront this Saturday.  New Zealand’s hottest, and best kept secrets of the NZ homegrown music industry.

I’m going to be rocking it with 17,000 people…1700 Under 18’s and my 15-year-old will be for the first time somewhere amongst it all.

The Jim Beam Homegrown event has been circled wildly on my Teens Calendar forever and she tells me “it will be the absolute highlight of her year”. She has a list as long as her arm of artists that she is “so excited about that she can hardly breathe” (her words).

Are you going?
Do you have young Teens going to Homegrown?

From everything I had read on the Homegrown website, the team has built over the years a truly epic Music Festival unlike any other. The lineup of artists they host is mammoth, the way they reportedly run the event seems well-respected, and the buzz they create is tangibly in the air in the lead up.

My 15-year-old teen was eagerly ‘hoping’ to watch as many of the artists in your line up as possible this year, as she is finally old enough to attend as an ‘under 18’.

BUT…

homegrown mom review

As a Mom, before I can say yes (or no) to an event or something of this mammoth dimension I need to really understand it myself and thoroughly do my research. I try really hard to keep an open mind and a balanced view, but do a tonne of research, ask other parents, check out the credentials, look at last year’s photos and reviews of the events etc… to try and make a fair decision of if I think it’s suitable for her to go (or not).

But as a parent, what I really-really want and am looking for is to hear another Mom’s opinion of ‘what the event is really like’ from their own experience and how their teen really found it, to read a Homegrown Mom Review. On talking with other parents they are also all looking for that real validation of “yeah the organisers say all the right things, but what’s it really like in the mosh-pit, and do they really truly follow through on their drugs and alcohol policies?’’.

The only way I felt comfortable this year with Miss15 attending, is if I attended Homegrown at the same time this year to really check it out myself and be able to visually and verbally check in with her frequently throughout the event. Yeah, I know, I’m ‘that’ Mom.

So this year, I have partnered with Jim Beam Homegrown 2016 to be their Mom Blogger and provide a “Mom’s review of what Homegrown is really like for your under-age teen”.

Are you a Mom or Dad going along too?
Are you taking younger kids or Teens with you?

My review will be more of the angle of ‘What Homegrown was really like from a Mom’s perspective for your under-age teen’ (& hopefully just how fun it was!). Also getting Miss15’s perspective after the event as to how she found it, safety, tone, appropriateness, tips she would give for other under 18’s etc…or honest information to give their parents.

I’m not there to embarrass my Teen, I hope she has the most amazing long anticipated time and Dances and Sings her little heart out.  She will need to check in and respond whenever I call or ask her to meet.  But other than that I plan to keep a pretty low profile, thoroughly enjoy my day, check out as many bands as possible and Dance and Sing my own little heart out while scoping out what it’s really like from a “Mom” view.

My reviews are always completely honest, un-biased and as I see it and experience it. But I’m leading with high-hopes that Homegrown is a really well run, well-rehearsed event, whom have covered many eventualities and follow through and do what they have said they will :-) … but we will see.

Homegrown have done a great job so far in provided lots of starter info on their Homegrown Under 18’s info page on their website.

…”All people under 18 who buy a ticket to Homegrown will need to pre-register on a special ‘Under 18 database’. If you don’t register and we don’t have your details you won’t be allowed into the festival. Read more here about Homegrown for Under 18’s here.”…

As it’s an event that serves alcohol, everyone who enters the gates will be checked for ID and given a wrist band of Over 18 or Under 18.  As above all Under 18’s are also entered on a Database.

I’m hopeful everything goes well, but I am also realistic as to what lengths Teens will go to gain Alcohol, Pre-Load beforehand, get access to Drugs and Stimulants.  There is the own choices your Teen makes, as well as those friends around them and the ones of those they ‘run into’ or didn’t plan to meet.  I remember my own Teen years well!

So yeah, um…it you are going to Homegrown…let me know you are coming or that you are there.  Connect with me via Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.

#HomegrownMomReview #hg16

I also think I’m going play around a bit and have my first foray into the world of !!! Snapchat !!!

…I don’t know what I’m doing…but we will see if I can make it go.

Who should I follow?

What shouldn’t I post?  I’ll avoid snapping my #MomShoes to help my feet last the day.

There is loads of great info by the minute info on their Homegrown Official Facebook page also that you can keep up to date with there.

Tickets are $119 (+$5.99 booking fee) through here at Homegrown Dash Tickets or through the link on their website Homegrown Tickets.

Here’s the lineup:

Who do you want to see?

DUB & ROOTS STAGE
* Shapeshifter  * Kora  * David Dallas  * The Black Seeds  * Katchafire  * Sons of Zion  * AHoriBuzz  * Sunshine Soundsystem  * DJ Sir-Vere

ROCK STAGE
* Devilskin  * Blacklistt  * I Am Giant  * Villainy  * The Feelers  * The Datsuns
* Beastwars  * City of Souls

URBAN STAGE
* Stan Walker  * Savage  * Avalanche City  * Ladi6  * Homebrew
* P Money  * Jamie McDell  * Maala  * Emergency DJ Clint  * Marek

THE LAB STAGE
* Jason Kerrison  * Anika Moa ft. Tiki  * Sola Rosa Sound System  * Beau Monga  * Team Dynamite  * Donell Lewis ft. Wrd Up  * Average Rap Band

ELECTRONIC STAGE
* State of Mind  * Trei ft. Tali, Tiki & Thomas Oliver  * The Peacekeepers vs K+Lab  * The Beat Mafia  * Dick Johnson  * Dan Aux  * Cymbol 303 & This Pale Fire

LOCALLY SOURCED STAGE
* BT & The Vibes  * Troy Kingi  * Lord Echo  * The Toblerone Sessions  * Dug Trio  * Tyson Smith  * Lady Fruit

 

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Survival in Devastation – International Women’s Day 2016

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Olivia Cruickshank & Abigail (Abbie) Cruickshank you are the women who inspire me more than my words can describe today on International Women’s Day.

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These two aren’t well-known feminists or strong political leaders or even keyboard warriors fighting for a greater world.

But when thinking about who I wanted to highlight today on International Women’s day, it was these two, Mother and daughter who inspire me…actually scrub that, they don’t just inspire me, they totally and utterly blow my mind!

Through a cataclysmic event, the personification of fierce Motherly protection for her daughter, fighting for her own survival through the most severe circumstances not once but 3 times, facing extreme odds, fierce determination and not one but two A-Mazing miracles both these women survived!

Through a cataclysmic event, the personification of fierce Motherly protection for her daughter, fighting for her own survival through the most severe circumstances not once but 3 times, facing extreme odds, fierce determination and not one but two A-Mazing miracles both these women survived!

Read their story in the links below, it blows me away every-single-time.


The mention of this little girl 2 years ago stuck in my mind the most from so many of the stories I read.

I didn’t know her name, I didn’t see her picture, I just heard or read it mentioned in one of the 100’s of things I absorbed over those few terrifying days.

With living in Wellington, but with a whole host of Family, Best friends and loved ones living in Christchurch, I was like a sponge and just tried to gather as much info as I could in the hours preceding the Christchurch Earthquake 22 February 2011.

This was one thing I could attempt to do, to help share what was relevant with them and keep them informed, as they were only getting patchy reports themselves with lack of power, internet, phone signals and being shut off.

All I heard were these snippets…

There were just a couple of reports at the time of:

“a man picking up a little girl from under her ‘deceased’ Mother & ‘running’ full speed with her in his arms all the way to the hospital”…

& then a hospital report that:

“their first patient to arrive through their doors that day was this man running in with her in his arms, handing her over, then he took off again”…

I don’t know why this two snippets, these two sentences of a wider report stuck with me the most, but this made me bawl my eyes out at the time, a huge torrential river bawl.

I remember searching weeks later on the internet to see if she had survived & was ok, but I just couldn’t find anything.

Exactly 2 years later, I was absolutely delighted to read this A-Mazing story of her survival, but then also the even more A-Mazing mind blowing survival of her Mother!!!

An almost unbelievably miracle, but miracle it most definitely was. (I bawled my eyes out even more again…and then some more…and then a whole lot more).

This is their story, the one I read a whole 2 years later that just blew my mind!

What I have written in my post today doesn’t do their stories justice, but Olivia Carville’s reporting on Stuff in the links below is one of the most inspiring stories I could every recommend you read.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/8337075/Mothers-survival-against-the-odds?fb_ref=Default

About a white-sneakered lifeless foot protruding from a dirty blanket beneath a colossal brick and concrete column the “size of a two-seater couch”.

About a little girl, purple, bloodied, starved of oxygen and limp being run on foot at full speed through the devastated streets of Christchurch on a Human stretcher all the way to the Hospital.

This year for the 5 year anniversary Stuff did a follow-up on Olivia and Abbie and I was once again delighted to read that they were thriving and I cried a river yet again.

You can read about how they are doing now 5 years on.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/the-press/news/christchurch-earthquake-2011/77146793/from-the-archives-mum-daughters-survival-against-the-odds

Olivia and Abbie, you captured my thoughts 5 years ago and today I highlight and salute you both and your truly amazing Survival and Recovery for International Women’s Day.

Sending prayers out to the both, your family and your further recovery :-)

May your life be filled with much love, much laughter and much lasting memories xxoo


 

It’s International Women’s Day 2016 today, I’m linking up with the fabulous Lucy from Lulastic who is hosting a Blog Linkup feel free to post your link too.
NB: My post isn’t exactly in keeping with what most people write about for International Women’s Day, but it was what was on my heart :-)

Join the International Women’s Day #IWD16 linky here:
Read more fabulous posts from all round the world…& discover some awesome new blogs :-)

 

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Most excited about the DeLorean The Bachelor NZ 2016

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Is it bad that I was most excited about the DeLorean from tonight’s Premier of The Bachelor NZ 2016?

Gearing up for ep 1 tomor #thebachelornz #blackdelorean #jordbach

A photo posted by Jordan Mauger (@jordanmauger_nz) on

Actually Jordan Mauger getting out of the DeLorean was quite exciting…I know some say DeLoreans need to be in the original brushed stainless steel, but I found this all black one rather sexy.

Miss 15, taken a gap in her study break commented that “woah, their budget must have got bigger this year as he choppered over the water”.

I always knew The Bachelor NZ was going to be different than last season…but if I’m really honest I found tonight a tiny bit underwhelmed so far

But I’m hoping to get past all the awkwardness of the intro’s, see the women more natural and casual and just get onto the fun and…the fun crazy. Just who will stir the pot this season? NazClaudia…perhaps?

I like Jordan, a Canterbury lad, good kiwi bloke, knows what he wants and connects well with his family.

Quite a different personality from Art, (but he kinda needed to be to make this season his own) and I think I will like him even more as the season goes on as he relaxes a whole lot more and show’s more of his natural fun sides.

But, damn did you see those sparkly eyes!
Annnnnd I think I saw him waterskiing when we were looking forward to the upcoming shows, so that just gets me everytime!

The Bachelorettes showered Jordan with a range of gifts from tiny hearts to Ceri (Keri) Juice to Bliss Balls! I actually felt like some bliss balls after that, so thanks Claudia, I think they were quite a hit.

I kinda liked the one with ALL the animals in the land, Alicia. Also I was sure she snagged a side lip kiss at the rose ceremony, but when I played it back, not so much.

Ceri with the juice, wow a little scared for you after reveling such deep info in your very first sentence after you sat down with Jordan, but I like you, so I hope you stay.

Rebecca, your scrabble game at the Retirement Village was a little cringey, even if it was meant to be endearing, but I think I’m going to like you more and more. I’m glad you got the 1st impression rose.

Kate with your Jude Law compliment (way to make a guy feel good, pulling out the likeness to Jude Law) and your multitude of kisses.

Amanda with your hand name game, that was kinda quirky and different, but I think Jordan liked it.

Anna, the More FM wildcard, we hardly saw you tonight, but I have a good feeling about you and I’m sure we are going to see much more of you yet.

The music throughout the show, was hilarious, a mixture of suspense, surprise, Star Wars and Disney princesses sparkles, but I like it matched with the cheesy-ness and it went with the awk’s of the night.

The Mahurangi Estate (the Mansion) looked stunning, I’m such a sucker for Fairy lights though, so am easily bought and the more sparklier the better.

Last season the women received dresses form The Iconic, but I wasn’t able to pick up where these were from tonight. Does anyone know where they were from?

Great to see Mr Mike back as host, I’ve missed over hearing him every morning trying to talk over my Si & Gary in the mornings as Miss 15 cranked her Edge radio up past my More FM. Jordan and Mike are looking sharp and are dressed by Working Style.

…and we are down to 19 already with Emily-Rose, Freya and Harmony heading home, without Marty McFly in the DeLorean.

Who are you top picks for having that spark with Jordan?

Hey, you can go into the draw to WIN a Suzuki Swift here
Watch the show, grab the Keyword and enter it online.

I watched the show, twice, but I still missed spotting the keyword, ha!

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